Drive Me Crazy
by DodgerBear
Summary: A casual confession rocks Ian and Mickey’s domestic bliss.


"The fuck you mean, you haven't passed your test?" Ian spluttered across the kitchen table.

Mickey shrugged and stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth. "Never went for it."

"Mickey! You drive our _son_ around! How can you do that?" Ian was enraged.

"Ay leave it out Red. I'm safe as fuck with our kid. You know that."

"BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A VALID LICENSE!"

Mickey glared at Ian. "I don't have a fuckin wife either and yet here I am havin breakfast with the whiny bitch I live with!"

"You gotta take your test Mick." Ian ignored the comment and pressed on.

"Why? I know how to drive a car Ian. I've had plenty experience."

"It's just not right. What sort of example is it setting Yev?"

Mickey's blue eyes rolled. "He doesn't need to know."

There was a beat of silence before Ian had another realization.

"Oh my God! You registered our marriage with that ID! Are you seriously telling me you used a fake ID to marry me?" Ian yelled in despair.

Mickey sighed heavily. "It was all I had. I didn't have a passport. _Obviously_. Ian...it's not a big deal. It was still me. It was me who married you, not my fuckin drivers license!"

"You are un-fuckin-believable." Ian fumed and stomped out of the kitchen.

Ian barely spoke to Mickey for the next few days. They just co-existed. Moving around each other in the house without really interacting unless it was absolutely necessary. At first Mickey was all for going along with the silence but by the end of the week he was climbing the walls. When Ian was mad and not speaking to him it also meant he wasn't putting out.

"You gonna keep this up for much longer?"

Ian shot Mickey a dark look as he got ready for his shift, swiftly buttoning up his shirt without speaking.

"Alright. Fine. That's how it's gonna be?"

Ian didn't reply to Mickey and grabbed his keys from the bedside table and left the room. Mickey trailed after him and watched Ian move around to gather up his stuff for work. When he reached the front door he didn't turn around when he spoke.

"I'm working a double. Won't be home tonight."

Then he was gone. Mickey stared at the closed door in disbelief. Ian was a stubborn fuck but he never normally lasted more than a couple of days before he broke and made up with Mickey. But this wasn't going away and now Ian was working double shifts to avoid him.

"Where's Pops?" Yev's voice floated into the room.

Mickey turned to his son with a sigh. "Work."

"What's goin on with you two? You've not spoken all week."

Mickey hated that Yev noticed the disharmony in the house. He swore that Yev would grow up in a different world to the one he was born into and now here he was, the cause of Ian's pain and the reason Yev could sense trouble.

"I did something stupid years ago and it's come back to bite me on the ass." Mickey rubbed his tired eyes.

Yev smiled softly. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"It'll be fine, kiddo." Mickey replied with a complete lack of confidence in his tone.

Ian wasn't working a double shift. He worked his normal day, clocked off at six and headed back to his old family home. Even at the age of 33 this place was still, and always would be, his home. The Gallagher house hadn't changed much over the years. It was still cluttered and untidy, the only difference was that Liam was the only one that lived there permanently with Fiona. Lip had moved into a place of his own when he got a steady job. Carl was always moving around with the army and was currently based Fort Benning in Georgia, so he rarely popped by for dinner. Debbie was making a killing doing work on private construction sites as a contractor and was set up in her own place with Franny. Everyone had their lives together. Liam was turning out to be even more of a genius than Lip and was at college doing something with numbers and engineering that made Ian's mind mushy but his heart proud as hell. Mickey was convinced the Gallaghers were going to be responsible for the end of the world one day. Lip would design a super-weapon, Debbie would make it, Carl would use it and Ian would provide their alibis. Ian had laughed at the time but one family dinner could make anyone see the truth in Mickey's words. The house was mercifully empty when Ian let himself in. He climbed the stairs and lay on the bed in his old room. Fiona had left the bedrooms pretty much the same for when her flock returned. He stared at the familiar crack in the ceiling until his eyes felt tired and heavy. His meds weren't doing a great job of regulating his moods this week. Mickey's off the cuff revelation about never taking his drivers test had sparked a series of emotional reactions that Ian couldn't work out were part of his condition, his own sensitive soul or just a complete overreaction. His heart hurt when he thought about his wedding day five years earlier. It had taken a lot to get Mickey to the point he was ready to give legally binding contracts another try. His first go around wasn't exactly wedded bliss, even if they all got on great with Svetlana now. Accepting that she was as much of a victim in the whole Terry shit show made it easier to have her around, especially when the three of them found a routine and rhythm for co-parenting the one good thing to come out of the darkest period in their lives. She was a fierce lioness of a mother and Ian loved her, in their own weird way.

Ian twisted his wedding band on his finger, the weight of it heavy for the first time ever. He took it off and placed it on the window sill. It was the lightest he'd felt all week.

Fiona was surprised to see Ian's work boots by the front door when she arrived home from work later that night. The lights in the house were off so she wandered around looking for her younger brother. She popped her head into his old room and found him on his bed, fast asleep. With a gentle click she closed the door and left him to the sleep he obviously needed.

"Hey Fi." Ian yawned when he padded down the stairs a little after ten that night.

"You okay?" She smiled and pulled him into a hug.

Ian breathed in the familiar smell of the woman who had raised him. She'd made some seriously bad decisions in her life but she was always there for him. "Been fighting with Mick."

"Oh." She rubbed his back. "Wanna talk about it?"

Ian released her from the hug and scrubbed his face with his hands. "It sounds so stupid..."

Fiona moved around him and went to grab a couple of beers from the fridge. "How much would smoking some weed fuck up your meds?"

Ian barked a laugh. "Not sure they're working properly anyway. Weed might help."

"Alright. But if you still feel that way tomorrow you know you need to see your doctor...right?"

Ian rolled his eyes playfully. "Yes. I know."

"Come on then. Liam is staying with friends this weekend. Something about a camping trip to work out some astronomy stuff. I dunno. Kid talks a different language. If it was you or Lip telling me that I'd say you were covering for a weekend of getting high and getting laid. But with him...I think he's actually out there with a tent and a telescope." Fiona laughed and led Ian to the living room, where they flopped onto the sofa and sipped some beer while Fiona expertly rolled a joint.

"So...what's he done this time?"

Ian felt a prickle of annoyance at her automatic assumption Mickey was at fault. In this case he was, to a degree, but usually their issues came as a result of Ian's up and down days.

"Sorry. What's happened this week?" Fiona saw the look on Ian's face and reworded the question.

"I found out that Mick never took his drivers test." Ian sighed heavily.

Fiona paused, waiting for more and frowning in confusion when it didn't come. "That's it?"

Ian lit the joint and inhaled deeply, holding it in his lungs until it burned.

"He used his fake license to register our marriage certificate. Fake license, fake vows, fake certificate, fake wedding. All fake."

The enormity of it hit Fiona. What might not be a big deal to most, she knew how important that wedding was to Ian.

"Fuck. That's...fuck." Fiona took the offered joint.

"It sounds stupid. I know it does. And he just doesn't see it as a thing. But I can't get it outta my head."

"You talked to him?"

"Not really. I don't know what to say to him. He won't acknowledge it."

"So what's the plan? You're staying here?"

Ian gulped down some beer. "For tonight, yeah. Tomorrow? I dunno."

"Okay. Let's forget it for tonight and get shit faced." Fiona stated.

Ian could already feel the weed lacing his bloodstream. "Sounds good to me."

Mickey was furiously pacing, waiting for Ian to come home so he could tear him a new one. It had been nearly 48 hours since Ian left for work to do a double shift. Except he hadn't done a double shift. Mickey figured that out when Ian didn't show up at home or answer his phone so Mickey called the dispatch office and found out Ian had done his normal day shifts. How the fuck could Ian leave him to worry like this? The scraping of a key in the lock alerted Mickey to Ian's arrival so he hastily jumped into a chair and flicked on the tv. Ian came into the hallway and kicked off his boots, dropping his keys into the dish by the door.

"You came back then." Mickey muttered.

Ian ignored him and headed for the bathroom. Mickey felt his rage building and jumped up to follow him.

"Ay! Don't walk away from me! You've been MIA for two days Ian! I've been worried about you. Fuck knows why since you don't seem to give a shit!" Mickey yelled at his husband.

Ian still didn't speak. Instead he stripped out of his work clothes under Mickey's livid gaze and stepped into the shower.

"You can't keep ignoring me Ian. Some day soon you've gotta talk to me." Mickey warned.

The water abruptly cut off and Ian yanked back the curtain separating him from Mickey.

"I don't have to do anything Mick. Not a thing. Not for you." Ian snarled.

His hurt had steadily turned to anger over the last few days and now he was about to blow.

"The fuck does that mean?" Mickey glared.

"It means you don't get to ask me for anything. You don't get to act like my husband because you're not." Ian grabbed a towel and dried off.

"I'm not? S'that right?" Mickey swiped at his nose with his thumb, glancing at Ian's hand and finding he'd taken off his ring. "You sayin we're done?"

Ian set his jaw in a firm scowl. "I'm saying we were never married in the first place."

"You've got to be kidding me! Of course we're fuckin married!" Mickey exploded.

"Did you know when you handed over your ID that it was a fake?" Ian challenged.

Mickey sucked in a deep breath through his nose. "Of course I fuckin knew! I paid through the fuckin nose for a good quality fake so I could marry your ass!"

"And that was easier than just taking the test huh?"

"Yes! I wasn't about to start listing all my felonies so some bitch at the DMV can decide whether or not I'm fit to drive a fuckin heap of junk I've been driving for years!"

"What about the fact you would have one more on the list if you'd been caught? What about the fact our whole marriage has been a sham? What about the fact that you don't even see why this is a problem for me? Now don't you _know_ me Mick?"

Ian's rant was cut off by Mickey lunging at him to grab his head and push him back into the sink, lips pressing firmly onto Ian's. He held Ian in place for a few seconds as he ravaged his mouth but Ian only allowed it for so long before he used his superior strength to shove Mickey away from him.

"This isn't gonna be fixed with a quick fuck Mickey." He spat bitterly. "I'm gonna stay with Fi for a while until I figure stuff out."

"Ian..." Mickey was stunned. "Don't."

"I can't stay here. It's bad enough you did that in the first place but you don't even recognize how fucked up it is."

"What about Yev?"

"Don't guilt me with our son Mick. That's low." Ian pushed past Mickey and went to pack some clean clothes into a bag. "I'll call him tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't wanna hurt you."

"Well you have. And I'm sorry it's such a huge fuckin inconvenience for you but that's how I feel."

For the second time in a week Mickey watched Ian leave the house and didn't have a clue how to fix his mess.

Mickey contemplated calling Mandy for help but quickly remember his sister was a pain in the ass who would back Ian up until the day she died. If Ian ever needed help to get rid of a body, if he ever needed an organ donation, if he ever needed to make a problem go away then Mandy would be the first on his speed dial. It used to bother Mickey that they were so close but over the years he'd been happy to see that Ian had someone there for him that didn't have any ulterior motives. She loved Ian, not his dick. Ian hadn't had much of that in his life. In the end he kept his problem to himself and moped around the house instead.

Yev knew things were messed up between his parents. He wasn't stupid. Neither had given much in the way of an explanation but he knew it was something from years back coming back to haunt them. His Pops wasn't living at home, his Dad was barely living at all and it was a colossal fucking mess.

"What's going on Dad?" Yev finally confronted Mickey when Ian had been gone for a week.

Mickey scowled at his son. "Nothing for you to worry about."

"Oh don't give me that shit. He's _gone_ Dad."

"Yeah. That's his MO. Typical fuckin Gallagher. The going gets tough and he's fuckin gone." Mickey was bitter and angry.

Yev's eyes widened. "I don't understand..."

"It's between us."

"No it's not! I live here too. He's my father. How can we fix this?" Yev snapped.

"We?" Mickey huffed his breath out of his lungs. "Yev..."

"Just tell me what happened." The youngster was quietly firm in his demand.

Mickey explained the situation and Yev's expression told him which side of the fence he was about to settle on.

"I can't believe you did that to him."

Yep. There it was. Firmly on Ian's side of the fence.

"You know, some day it might be nice for you to back _me_ up. Just once. One day."

Yev snorted. "I will when you deserve it. This is fucked up, Dad."

"I KNOW!"

"SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"

"I DON'T KNOW! STOP YELLING AT ME!"

Yev glared at his father. "Well you'd better think of something before your marriage falls apart completely."

And once again Mickey found himself staring at the back of a closed door, this time with his son walking away from him.

Two weeks. That's how long Ian had been gone. Three weeks since the whole thing started. Mickey was stubbornly refusing to chase after him. Ian knew it was a sticking point with Mickey that he always walked away from problems. In the back of his mind Mickey knew that he was the blame for all of this but Ian was making a bad situation worse by leaving him. He knew Yev was still seeing Ian. They met up for their usual early morning runs and Yev still went to the Gallagher house for family dinners but the whole time Ian managed to avoid his husband. If Mickey was totally honest, if only to himself, this was killing him. It reached boiling point when he woke up in the middle of the night, twenty minutes after he'd finally fallen asleep, after slipping into a _very_ graphic dream involving Ian's tongue and his ass. His dick was harder than steel and throbbing painfully in his boxers.

"Oh don't you even start!" Mickey shrieked at his dick, punching his pillow in frustration. He waited until his hard on had given up hope of being taken care of and leapt out of bed. He stormed into Yev's bedroom and shook the teenager awake.

"What's goin on?" Yev struggled to focus.

"I need your computer."

"Am I dreaming?"

Mickey pinched Yev's arm until he squirmed. "No you're not fuckin dreaming. I need your computer now."

"Dad...it's two thirty in the morning. The only people on computers at this time are lookin at porn..." Yev screwed his face in disgust.

"And you think I woke you up for that? Jesus Yev." Mickey rolled his tired eyes.

Yev climbed out of bed and found his laptop on his desk. "So what do you need it for?"

"I need to fill in the forms to sit my drivers test." Mickey admitted shyly.

Yev chuckled quietly. "Had a lightbulb moment huh?"

"Just switch the thing on and let's get this over with." Mickey stated with grim determination. "And do NOT tell your Pops about this."

Ian wasn't faring much better at the Gallagher house. Fiona was finding things around the house to keep him busy but he was running out of distractions. Yev was great, he understood Ian's point of view and still came by to spend time with him. But now it was tipping point. He'd spent the last week trying to figure out what he was going to do. Did this fake wedding thing matter to him more than his marriage? His _fake_ marriage, his mind flash torturously. Would he be able to go home to Mickey and forget this ever happened? Go back to living life as before, believing he was legitimately married to the man he'd loved for more than half his life? As painful as it was, and as ridiculous as the reason may sound to outsiders who had no idea the journey it was to get married in the first place, the answer was probably no. He couldn't carry on living with Mickey in their house as if none of had happened.

Fiona made them a coffee for breakfast and Ian told her his decision.

"I guess it's over." He mumbled brokenly.

"Oh Ian..."

"He's not interested in sorting it out. He knows where I am and he's not tried to talk to me. I can't pretend we don't have an illegal marriage. So I guess we're done."

Fiona reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "He's an idiot."

"Yeah. But I thought he was my idiot."

"You know how stubborn he is."

Ian just smiled sadly and sipped his hot coffee.

Their contemplative silence was broken by a knock at the back door and Yev popping his head in.

"Hey Pops. Hey Aunt Fi." A smile lit up Yev's handsome face. He looked so much like his dad that it made Ian's chest tighten.

"Yev! What are you doing here?" Ian grinned past his pain.

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I'm making lasagna." Yev smiled, holding up his hand when he saw Ian's face falling. "It's okay. Dad won't be home. He's got a big job on at work and won't be home until late."

"I dunno Yev..." Ian sighed.

Fiona nudged Ian's arm. "Go on. You've got cabin fever staring at these walls."

Ian conceded with a smile. "Sure. Thanks Yev."

"See you at six." Yev waved and darted back out of the door.

The house was quiet when Ian let himself in with his key.

"Yev? You here?" He called out into the living room. Looking around he couldn't detect signs of life and there was a distinct lack of cooking smells from the kitchen. He was starting to get worried when I figure appeared in the living room, a shadow in the dark November night. Ian knew instantly it wasn't Yev. He'd inherited his height from his mother's side of the family and was just over 6 feet tall. Mickey was not 6 feet tall.

"Hey Gallagher." Mickey spoke softly.

"Did Yev set this up?" Ian snapped.

"Only cause I asked him to."

Ian snorted. "Good to know where his loyalties lie."

Mickey chuckled darkly. "Don't worry. They lie firmly with you. I just asked him to give me this one shot to fix us."

Ian raised his brows. "Bit late."

"When have I ever done things on time? Come here man." Mickey stepped back into the kitchen and Ian, against his better judgement, followed him.

The kitchen was lit by candles on the table, which was set for two with their nice plates. A bowl of pizza rolls sat in the middle of the table alongside two open bottles of beer.

"You did this?" Ian arched his brow.

Mickey blushed in the soft glow of the candles. "Yev helped. Who knew he was the King of Romance huh?"

"Well he didn't get that from you." Ian felt the corners of his mouth twitch like he wanted to smile.

"Sit down." Mickey instructed gently and Ian obliged.

In a flurry of anxious limbs Mickey dropped to his knees, reaching into his back pocket to pull something out.

"Ian...I'm sorry I fucked this up so badly. Firstly five years ago and again these past few weeks. I love you. No matter who made my ID, I love you more than I thought I'd ever be able to love anyone." His words tumbled out into the air and Ian absorbed them like they were the oxygen keeping him alive.

"I'm sorry I'm so sensitive. But I can't help it. That's the way I am and I can't change that." Ian admitted.

"I know. I knew that when you turned up on my doorstep that first time your Mom came back. I knew when he crashed my horror show of a wedding to Lana. I knew when I got up the courage to propose and you couldn't answer because you were choking on snot. I knew all of this before I married you and I wouldn't change it for anything." Mickey chuckled dryly.

Ian smiled tightly, holding back tears but forcing them into a lump that lodged in his throat. Mickey took his hand and held up a little plastic card with a very recent photo of himself printed on it.

"Ian, I passed my test and I have fully legit ID. Will you marry me again so we can do this properly?" Mickey spoke with deliberate slowness so Ian could hear him over his nerves.

Ian's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah Gallagher. I'm serious. I want you back. I _need_ you back. Turns out I'm fuck all without you." Mickey replied shyly.

"You'd marry me again?" Ian checked.

"I'd marry you a million times if that's what you needed to happen so we can be together." Mickey answered. "You know, with my love of the spotlight we could do it every weekend if you wanted to."

Ian dissolved into emotional laughter and felt his eyes filling up with tears.

"You still haven't given me your answer Gallagher..."

"Yes. Of course yes. Being married to you is all I ever wanted. You know, since I was medicated at least." Ian grinned.

"Good to know it's drugs that keep you around." Mickey joked and pulled his husband, soon to be, into a tender kiss.

"I need to stand up. Too old to be on my knees like this."

"I kinda like you on your knees." Ian wiggled his brows.

Mickey got to his feet and gestured to the hearty dinner he'd prepared. "I slaved over a hot stove for you..."

"Pizza rolls always taste better after a good, hard fuck." Ian replied and pulled Mickey by the hand to their bedroom.

"Gallagher, the candles. We can't burn the house down."

Ian shut the bedroom door with a sharp click. "Mickey...shut the fuck up and get naked."

Mickey's face lit up with a grin and he started pulling off his shirt. "Not even married yet and you're already bossin me around the place..."

"Yeah. And you love it."

"I do." Mickey giggled at his own wedding joke but was quickly cut off by Ian's tongue filling his mouth.


End file.
